Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Sociopaths and Narcissists

 
Lewis made mention of the exceptions to those who strive to adhere to the laws of human nature.
“Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you.”
or
Do unto others as they do to you.
or
There ain’t no others, there is only you.
With a house full of kids, the beginning of Lewis’ chapter caught my attention.   Those verbal exchanges happen every day in the kitchen, “living” room, bathroom, etc.  Citations are given out daily from mother and father for infractions ad infinitum.  My wife and I adopted children to add to our biological crew.  The bios understand the laws of human nature and conscience is called up when they violate these natural laws.  The adopted children, however, have undergone mom’s boot camp instruction for years now and have “talks” on a daily basis on how to do the right thing by others.

We, as parents, understand where these children come from…the abuse, neglect, abandonment…we know their stories.   It seems at times that their DNA is “every man for themselves”.   Even after years of the same discussion about the same issues they still often default into sociopathic or narcissistic tendencies.  Fetal Alcohol Syndrome often gives us real life examples of a world without natural law as Lewis puts it. 
Some have FAS but others only have attachment issues from neglect and abandonment which present in very interesting ways.   A liar would lie to get another liar in trouble.  Both are characterized by lying so the case is thrown out by consequences for both…which isn’t “fair” but telling the truth to own up to one own quilt and saving the other from loss of freedom is out of the question.
My wife could tell detailed events of perplexity.  Often when I return home she is emotionally exhausted from trying to instill the laws of human nature into our children.  Lewis indeed rang true in his opening chapter. 

This was submitted to Between The Lineshttp://bit.ly/fqIJZ4 book reading.  Mere Christianity is the current read. Comments are for chapter one.

7 comments:

  1. My wife and I also have 2 adopted children that came through the foster system (and both are FASD). I feel the pain and know the joys of when they "get it" to a new degree. I hadn't thought of it in this context, but you're so right. Thanks so much for joining the discussions. Looking forward to reading more in the next weeks and months. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Praying for God's hand to touch each one of you in a new and profound way - for energy, understanding and a new "right" to settle on your household.

    Great post.

    ReplyDelete
  3. God bless you both, and your children.

    ReplyDelete
  4. What's amazing is the REASON your children fight is because of the inborn Law of Nature within them.

    But you're good parents. Cultivating and encouraging the growth of this Law is good for them... and for society as a whole.

    ReplyDelete
  5. What you've accepted here is a gift -- and not just to your own family but to the rest of us as well.

    ReplyDelete
  6. i agree with you, that lewis has it right.

    ReplyDelete

So, you made a little time to stop by. You are welcome any time...speak freely.