Somethin' Sunday...Psalm 40

Psalm 40

i waited for God

not long enough

i didn’t know I was stuck in the mud

it was dirty mud

i’ve been pumping my feet

busy keeping busy

flat out deciding not to wait

but there I was not moving

in all my agenda

i stand in the congregation and sing not

they see this and ignore

and mystery is no more

subtracted by giving my self to no one

even God

the “sure thing” I still look for

in the fray

is always a step away

i stockpile the blessings

without gratitude

and consume

and name above all names

words that go lined

but not underlined by You

my heart neither is true

i do something

i bring something

i be something

that You didn’t ask for

and i am sore

i am not ready to come

i can’t handle truths

i won’t believe the party

what happened and where

and why this blank stare

i have nothing to preach

yet preach i do

about me

and self dependant i be

so now i stopped tapping Your shoulder

and my heart is giving out

not love

just giving out

with lots of doubt

gangs and mobs and sins and guilts

curl around me

a barrier reef

grief

“But all who are hunting for you-

     oh, let them sing and be happy.

Let those who know what you’re all about

     tell the world you’re great and not quitting.

And me!  I’m a mess.  I’m nothing and have nothing:

     make something of me.

You can do it; you’ve got what it takes-

     but God, don’t put it off.”

i waited for God

not long enough

Quote from Psalm 40:16,17 The Message