Sunday, January 2, 2011

Minus One

She strolls past like a mist
an apparition that no one sees
a quiet dance is all longing

splinters from the boardwalk
a reminder that a wedding
dance with her father
are only little slivers of
pain of the loss

this should have been
the happiest day
but now it is happiness
minus one


  1. The image definitely displays a flowing apparitional feel to it which your poem does a wonderful job revealing painful emotions and tactile reminders of a special day. Happy New Year to you and yours, Jerry!

  2. A wonderful bittersweet poem. I can feel the sadness.

  3. This poem really engaged me - made me intrigued to know the back story of how this moment came to pass - well written!

  4. You've captured some of the pathos in this photo, as well as the mystery and beauty. Nice take, with an excellent opening line and solid finish.

  5. Tragic, playing up on the almost unreal, ethereal quality of the photo...the mystery of it. Why is this veiled woman gone unnoticed? You give reason to the wonder, take an angle of sadness in it...poor, lonely woman. Strong piece, quite emotional.

  6. Oh, that's sad. You always touch the emotions, Jerry.

  7. well done, the sense of loss that some experience even when times are meant to be the happiest....had a message for prayer this holiday of a freinds cousins who lost his wife on Christmas day and his mother two days and death continues with or without to you and your family this New Year...bkm

  8. Happiness minus one - that speaks volumes. Good one, Jerry.

  9. that was sad....very well written...i could see and feel her lament which is a tribute to your writing...cheers pete


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