Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Give Me A Bite Of That Apple


because I’m definitely outside the garden.
I’m out in the carb jungle and it shows.
Where can I buy fig leaves with spandex?
I know why A and E hid.
I know why I want to hide.
My pants don’t fit right, I mean,
I don’t mean to sag, that’s not how I
usually roll, but now I have a roll and
it sags and my buttocks are packing
their bags and heading northeast.
I used to have a button on my belly and
now there’s just a button hole.
I have to think about how I tie my shoes.
A short chair is best or
I come up with no air in my chest.
Hand me that apple so
I can bite it to the core.
I’ll have it bronzed and stick it
on my dash to remind me
of my core within.
Maybe an apple a day
will make my belly go away.
Maybe.



14 comments:

  1. I think you just wrote my recent physical history. Great poem, Jerry.

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  2. haha, really great poem Jerry.. maybe I should eat more apples!

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  3. visceral write...being outside the garden and a bullet hole for a belly button...yikes...i dunno if the apple will help...nice write.

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  4. I laughed out loud. Thanks for the fun read. I know the feeling.

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  5. This should be posted on every frig...I too could use more apples and less apple pie....it should have been an applie pie tree they took that bite from...bkm

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  6. At least you know now the difference between good and evil. And they make clothes that have Velcro closures on them, much easier than tying shoes.

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  7. Clever and funny, especially bronzing the apple. I'm sure it will help, as long as it isn't followed by the cry for a cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate shake.

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  8. now it's time for a spring diet...smiles... clever write jerry

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  9. Middle-age is a bitch, ain't it? (LOL!)

    By the way? That apple-a-day making your belly go away thing? It doesn't work, trust me.

    (I have an apple every day for lunch)

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  10. Excellent written, made me laugh and very thought-provoking.

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  11. Clever and fun. Love your wordplaying. :)

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  12. This was such a wonderful read, Jerry. The button hole line made me laugh out loud. Charlie jumped up and started to bark - lol! Maybe it's just winter-weight? It's amazing how the warm weather gets us moving and a groovin' :)

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  13. This is GREAT!
    I laghed out loud when I read:
    "I used to have a button on my belly
    and now there's just a button hole"
    Thanks for giving me a good ol' chuckle on this gloomy Friday (rainin like mad in Iowa today)

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