Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Give Me A Bite Of That Apple

because I’m definitely outside the garden.
I’m out in the carb jungle and it shows.
Where can I buy fig leaves with spandex?
I know why A and E hid.
I know why I want to hide.
My pants don’t fit right, I mean,
I don’t mean to sag, that’s not how I
usually roll, but now I have a roll and
it sags and my buttocks are packing
their bags and heading northeast.
I used to have a button on my belly and
now there’s just a button hole.
I have to think about how I tie my shoes.
A short chair is best or
I come up with no air in my chest.
Hand me that apple so
I can bite it to the core.
I’ll have it bronzed and stick it
on my dash to remind me
of my core within.
Maybe an apple a day
will make my belly go away.


  1. I think you just wrote my recent physical history. Great poem, Jerry.

  2. haha, really great poem Jerry.. maybe I should eat more apples!

  3. visceral write...being outside the garden and a bullet hole for a belly button...yikes...i dunno if the apple will help...nice write.

  4. I laughed out loud. Thanks for the fun read. I know the feeling.

  5. This should be posted on every frig...I too could use more apples and less apple pie....it should have been an applie pie tree they took that bite from...bkm

  6. At least you know now the difference between good and evil. And they make clothes that have Velcro closures on them, much easier than tying shoes.

  7. Clever and funny, especially bronzing the apple. I'm sure it will help, as long as it isn't followed by the cry for a cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate shake.

  8. now it's time for a spring diet...smiles... clever write jerry

  9. Middle-age is a bitch, ain't it? (LOL!)

    By the way? That apple-a-day making your belly go away thing? It doesn't work, trust me.

    (I have an apple every day for lunch)

  10. Excellent written, made me laugh and very thought-provoking.

  11. Clever and fun. Love your wordplaying. :)

  12. This was such a wonderful read, Jerry. The button hole line made me laugh out loud. Charlie jumped up and started to bark - lol! Maybe it's just winter-weight? It's amazing how the warm weather gets us moving and a groovin' :)

  13. This is GREAT!
    I laghed out loud when I read:
    "I used to have a button on my belly
    and now there's just a button hole"
    Thanks for giving me a good ol' chuckle on this gloomy Friday (rainin like mad in Iowa today)


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