Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Give Me A Bite Of That Apple


because I’m definitely outside the garden.
I’m out in the carb jungle and it shows.
Where can I buy fig leaves with spandex?
I know why A and E hid.
I know why I want to hide.
My pants don’t fit right, I mean,
I don’t mean to sag, that’s not how I
usually roll, but now I have a roll and
it sags and my buttocks are packing
their bags and heading northeast.
I used to have a button on my belly and
now there’s just a button hole.
I have to think about how I tie my shoes.
A short chair is best or
I come up with no air in my chest.
Hand me that apple so
I can bite it to the core.
I’ll have it bronzed and stick it
on my dash to remind me
of my core within.
Maybe an apple a day
will make my belly go away.
Maybe.



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13 comments:

  1. GlynnApril 12, 2011 at 2:47 PM

    I think you just wrote my recent physical history. Great poem, Jerry.

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  2. UnknownApril 12, 2011 at 3:25 PM

    haha, really great poem Jerry.. maybe I should eat more apples!

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  3. Brian MillerApril 12, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    visceral write...being outside the garden and a bullet hole for a belly button...yikes...i dunno if the apple will help...nice write.

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  4. Ann GrenierApril 12, 2011 at 6:00 PM

    I laughed out loud. Thanks for the fun read. I know the feeling.

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  5. acebiggaveliApril 12, 2011 at 6:03 PM

    THIS IS REALLY GOOD

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  6. signed...bkmApril 12, 2011 at 10:32 PM

    This should be posted on every frig...I too could use more apples and less apple pie....it should have been an applie pie tree they took that bite from...bkm

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  7. the walking manApril 13, 2011 at 5:44 AM

    At least you know now the difference between good and evil. And they make clothes that have Velcro closures on them, much easier than tying shoes.

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  8. hedgewitchApril 13, 2011 at 9:22 AM

    Clever and funny, especially bronzing the apple. I'm sure it will help, as long as it isn't followed by the cry for a cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate shake.

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  9. ClaudiaApril 13, 2011 at 10:06 AM

    now it's time for a spring diet...smiles... clever write jerry

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  10. Kodjo DeynooApril 13, 2011 at 2:03 PM

    Excellent written, made me laugh and very thought-provoking.

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  11. AnonymousApril 13, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    Clever and fun. Love your wordplaying. :)

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  12. TALONApril 14, 2011 at 9:00 PM

    This was such a wonderful read, Jerry. The button hole line made me laugh out loud. Charlie jumped up and started to bark - lol! Maybe it's just winter-weight? It's amazing how the warm weather gets us moving and a groovin' :)

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  13. D.C. LutzApril 15, 2011 at 12:12 PM

    This is GREAT!
    I laghed out loud when I read:
    "I used to have a button on my belly
    and now there's just a button hole"
    Thanks for giving me a good ol' chuckle on this gloomy Friday (rainin like mad in Iowa today)

    ReplyDelete

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